How to Improve Your Intimate Relationship Pt 1

If you would like to reach a higher level of intimacy and love with your beloved, there is a way that will raise your relationship from strength to greater strength. But you will have to do some soul searching and allow yourself to open up to a new approach to your relationship. You will be called to face challenges that you yourself create for your own testing and growth. Are you up for the challenge? Do you really want to experience much deeper love and connection with your partner? Can you stand the explosion of joy?

Choosing the Higher Way

If you have the courage, the focus and the determination to enjoy deeper love and joy in your intimate relationship, and because you are aware that you have this desire to improve and expand your shared love, when you open to change, your happiness will cascade into new realms of joy with your lover. You have the freedom now to choose the higher way, a way based on integration/connection that leads to radically more joy and delight, intimacy and love, in your relationship.

Conditional Love vs. Unconditional Love

Like most people, you probably expect your partner to satisfy your needs, to help you feel better about yourself, to make you feel whole and loved. If your lover slacks off and does not fulfill your expectations, do you start to withdraw your love? This is conditional love: you love me and I will love you, but if you stop loving me I will withdraw my love from you. How can any love survive the inevitable pressures of life under such circumstances? Many relationships do not survive when they are based on such conditional love.

But when you come from a place of unconditional love for your partner, when you offer your love in generosity and for the greater happiness of your partner, you receive the equivalent love in return but without the element of need or indeed, of expectation of anything in return. Unconditional love says ‘I love you no matter what, warts and all. No matter what you do, I will still give you my love because I see the eternal lovableness in your soul and connect with it there. You will find your partner will step up too and respond to your new attitude with delight.

This is the better way. When you know and practice this higher way of unconditional love, you will win hands down, every time, always. But you have to make a slight inner shift in your attitude and understanding. There is so much freedom and happiness on the other side of this shift.

Separation vs. Connectedness

In our present third dimensional reality, we bring our preconceived attitudes and expectations to our intimate relationships. Let’s explore more of these. We believe that we are separate from each other, that we share no connection with anyone else except by invitation, as a lover or friend. We imagine we are separate from our partner, from each other, from aspects of our own inner self. But this sense of being separate is an illusion. True love is confined neither by distance nor time. You can feel connected to your love partner no matter where you are, for love transcends time and space.

In fact, we are all connected at a deep level. We are all expressions of one Source Being; aspects of Love experiencing and creating our reality as we go. Everyone and everything are connected, we are one in nature, we are one in essence. When we develop this sense of integration, we can quickly come to accept others as they are; we can allow them to express themselves in truth and in their own uniquely creative way, and feel no threat in doing so.

Secrecy vs. Openness and Trust

Many are afraid to open completely to their partner, they keep secrets, with-hold information, do not share their inner thoughts and feelings. In keeping their secrets, they with hold their affections and use them as leverage to get what they want from their partner. This gives them a false sense of control over the other; false because we really have no such control, and if we think we can control anyone else, we are living an illusion, which will inevitably lead to disappointment and pain.

The opposite of this secrecy concept involves complete openness and honesty with your partner. If your partner does not really know who you are because you have never revealed your inner self completely, you are simply blocking the flow of love. You cannot be honest with your partner until you are completely honest with yourself.

By being honest with yourself you will expand spiritually and promote your own exponential growth, until transparent honesty becomes second nature to you. You will then find that your openness and forthrightness will make you magnetic and attractive as others see you have the courage and expansion of soul to be fully yourself under all circumstances. Trust sets you free to live completely in the present moment; it allows you to be yourself and your partner to be as they are, in truth and authenticity.

In part 2 of this 4 part series on intimate relationships, we will explore other aspects of the upgrade to greater love and joy. Meanwhile experiment with moving into unconditional love for your partner and begin your intimate relationship upgrade starting today.